~ R. Colier ~
This was the basis of my starting Keep or Chuck (the project and the blog). I mean, no, I just found the quote today (I love success quotes), but that's the idea. Thinking that I would display those small efforts to the world (or those who find me) day in and day out was, well, unrealistic. Overambitious. But I like having something to aim for.
Awhile back, a made a trip to Goodwill and dropped off a few things. There are layers of small successes here.
- Got rid of some stuff I knew had to be chucked.
- Identified a couple of items for the garbage (yes, garbage).
- Let go of some things I was trying to sell on Amazon (money worry is clutter, too).
- I get to fling things on my to-do list, too.
I left this post idle for a month or two.
It's the last day of 2012. I am at my dining room table, surveying the cluttered mess that is my house. The Christmas decorations look manageable; I know the will go into the green and red containers. I can see the piano, well enough that I could just move a few things and be able to play it. But I feel a heaviness, knowing that I've had 2 days while my family is away, and I haven't transformed this place. I have been making "small efforts" but I didn't even pick one area to make a noticeable difference in. They will be home tomorrow. I want them to see a difference, but I need to want this for myself. I think I do. Something's not clicking, though.
I'm focusing on failure, which is why I reopened this post and am bringing my attention to success again. Maybe the emphasis need to be on the SUM rather than on the small efforts. I'm not happy with the sum, so I feel like I don't have success. The opposite of success need not be failure, though. If the repetition of more small efforts could lead to success, than what I have right now is a partial sum. Partial success. In math class, I would have partial credit.
I just remembered that I made my own definition of success. I thought, I should look at that and blog about it. Then I realized I already had, on my other blog. I went to look at it and WOW, it was my last post, last August. Leaving it for so long feels like failure-- but I get partial credit.
I've had a song from the most recent Muppets movie in my head. The chorus goes, "I've got everything that I need right in front of me." Just keep adding it up, Em, you'll get a sum eventually.
Sing Unabashedly, Creating a Conscious, Effective Story of Self