What Does My Home Have to Say?

 Years ago, I often felt I needed to leave the house to get things done.  Back when I didn't do everything on a computer or automagically, I would pack up bills and correspondance in a paper bag and go to a coffee shop to pay bills and balance my checkbook and such.  I couldn't do it at home, not only because of the distraction of young kids, but because I felt like my home was one big, three-dimensional to-do list.  I couldn't relax either.  My home was a place I needed to escape, because everywhere I turned I saw something that needed to get done.

I still feel this.  I can easily look around and see things that I want to improve or fix or that I've been tolerating too long.  However, I no longer want to escape.  I learned that the Chinese have a saying (in feng shui), that your house is always talking to you, so you should make sure it has something good to say.  Now I am more motivated to change the way my house talks to me than to escape it.  I have learned to look around and let my eyes alight on something that I like, something that appeals to me, something that says something about how I value myself, and slowly I find that my home can be supportive.  I can use it as a great big vision board to manifest my big life, instead of a never-ending list that is holding me back.  I have made sure that even though every room has clutter and imperfections, every room also has a little sanctuary, every room has a heart.  My home is learning not to nag, but to encourage me. 

I know a certain amount of this is attributable to attitude shift.  It is a compounding cycle though-- the more I choose to hear positive messages from my home, the more intentional I am about making subtle changes so that it does have nicer and nicer things to say.

Becoming a Feng Shui consultant

In November, I hatched as a baby sea turtle and found my way to the ocean of Feng Shui knowledge, as presented by Moni Castaneda in her course, The Three Treasures of Feng Shui. It was a playful refresher on a lot that I have learned working with Moni as my feng shui guide over the years, and it also drilled down deeper on certain concepts and connections.  

A little background: in the 10 years since I last blogged here, a lot has happened-- as one might expect to happen in life. There was a job change, amazing trips, eating disorder recovery, getting back to community theatre, another job change, a divorce, a job loss, a move, dating again, working from home with during covid times, more moves, more job changes, getting into community band, a wedding, and a final move into the home of my new spouse. All the while, I was raising two kids, mostly as a single parent (but with the help of the village), and supporting them in their adventures. My clutter was reduced with each move, but also followed me with each move, and grew in different ways.  

We married in the fall of 2022, and in 2023, before emptying all my boxes to integrate our households, we embarked on a project to finish space and add a bedroom to the basement, to make this a some-time home for my young adult children as well.  Also in 2023, I rode some waves of job stress, explored different opportunities and ultimately took a job with an easier commute.  I also continued to explore hobbies and interests, in part to germinate creative ideas for side gigs and build "my own thing," whether that eventually became my main gig or not.  This sort of exploration has been going on for years.  This blog was one of many spots I have made marks in nooks and crannies of the Internet as I try to find my purpose.

So in November of 2023 when I took that course, I looked around at my current home, which he had lived in since 2006, and in which we had been newlyweds for just over a year.  I saw the piles and boxes, literal and figurative, of everything that had ever mattered to or even just interested me over these years, things I thought might matter to my kids someday, things that he had accumulated in a house that was bigger than one person needed, and I realized: I will never get through this, never get to the change I want to see, without help.  I needed more guidance.  I have had help before and I continue to need it.

In December, I did the next logical thing.  I signed up for MORE.  I am now training to become a feng shui consultant.  Is this because I finally found "my thing"?  Is my purpose to help others arrange their space to support their big dreams?  Maybe not.  But I am clear on these two things: 

First, I do need help to let go of things and to create the home I love.  Others may not need help, or may be able to get it from books or TV shows or an encouraging friend, but I need more help.  I need those things, plus I need the structure of the Nine Steps to Feng Shui system that Moni has devised.  And it is okay that I need that help.

Secondly, regardless what my "purpose" is, getting the help I need to create good feng shui in my home and workspace can only strengthen and support it, whatever creative fun it is.  And if my purpose does turn out have something to do with feng shui, it will center around overcoming the very challenges as I have faced all these years.  I will be some sort of declutter/change specialist, because the only way around it is through it, and when I do get through it, that will be my great gift, to help others who accumulate and hold on to stuff for the possibilities stuff holds, and help them learn to cradle the possibilities without so much stuff.

My blog asked me if it is living and I told it, maybe not, but I sure am!

I have a box all ready to go to the thrift store.  My son is going along so I am just waiting for him to finish up what he is doing.  Then I remembered, "Oh, I can reward myself with writing," which partially the intent of this blog.

Imagine, my surprise, then, when I logged in and found that my last post was January 1, 2013.  Over a year ago!  Don't get me wrong; I am fully aware that I am an inconsistent blogger.  It's just that I didn't imagine it was over a year.  Being naturally curious, I then asked myself why it has been so long since I blogged on here.  Although I am still surrounded by clutter, it's certainly not because I have been keeping everything and chucking nothing.

Looking at my records on itsdeductible.com, I see I donated 6 times to 3 different locations (a total of 115 deductible items) in 2013. That doesn't include the donations I did a lousy job of recording, or that were giveable but not deductible, or that I gave to friends.  Actually, a respectable amount of decluttering did happen.  When I reflect, I realize that there were many times through the year that I was aware that I hadn't been blogging, but was also aware that it was because I didn't need to bribe myself with writing.  Decluttering had gathered its own momentum, and I got to a point that I could keep going for the sheer pleasure of unburdening myself of my things.  I was pickier about how I used my time, because I had the motivation.

What made 2013 different?  I have read every book about decluttering and organizing.  I have a knack for coming up with creative solutions.  I have started over and over and over.  Was 2013 really different?

I think it was.  Right at the end of 2012, I joined the Procrastination Cure Club hosted by coach Wendy Joy Hart.  Mind you, I know about Wendy for nearly a year, but I kept snagging free webinars, and not putting any money into it.  When I took the plunge, I got hours and hours of recordings, a workbook, a Facebook community, and monthly group coaching calls.  And I got unstuck.

The impetus for taking the plunge was the realization that my 2012 resolution was to create a home (physical, emotional, and virtual) for my inner artist-- and I had made NO progress in a whole year on the physical space.  The corner of my family room that was my office space, and potentially my art space, was so full of STUFF that I couldn't use it at all.  My mess was spilling out into the dining room because I would sit there with my laptop to pay bills.  Within a month of the cure, I had cleared off the desk enough to make it usable, and by April I had totally cleaned it out and rearranged such that I had space for my art, too.  That allowed me to make a collage I had been dreaming about forever, and to offer to make a similar name poem and collage for someone in my faith community (offered as a silent auction prize).

A leaky pipe caused water to drip into that space and everything had to be arranged, but I had tasted enough success to know that when Wendy Joy Hart revamped her Procrastination and Overwhelm Cure and offered the update to current club members at I discount, I should jump on it.  I bought it for my birthday in October, telling myself that most of what I had accomplished in 2013 was due to the help of the Procrastination Cure.  It has kept me learning and going in the direction of my dreams.  A couple of weeks ago I met Wendy in person when I attended her life event, and I'm on another level completely.  Again.

So, I am not one bit sorry that I let this blog lie fallow for over a year.  I have been tilling the soil of my life.  I can know that it's growing without showing the world a blossom every day.

The Answer is Always Chuck

Happy New Year!

It must be all this out-with-the-old, in-with-the-new energy, but a thought struck me when I looked at this question that is the name of my blog: Keep or Chuck?

The answer is always chuck.

If you have to ask, you don't need it.
If you have to think about it, you don't need it.

Awhile back, I was wondering, if I ask myself, "Should I keep this?" the answer is yes, no, or maybe.   If it's a yes, I make a home for it.  If it's a no, I find a new home for it.  But what if it's a maybe.  I jotted the question down, to look it up in one of my decluttering books.

At the time, it was Clutter Busting by Brooks Palmer.  To find out more about how this book moved my energy (and got this blog going), read this clutter busting post.  So one day, as I was going through my to-do list, I saw:

• Look up declutter method for maybe

I cracked open the book and found it in less than a minute.  I wrote:

• just read Brooks-- maybe means no

I left that note on my list.  Maybe because I knew I needed time to for it to sink in.  Maybe because I'm a packrat and I could not stand to throw away that bit of insight.  Maybe because I knew myself well enough to know I would be looking up "maybe" in my searchable tasklist again.  When I was learning French and Spanish, I would highlight a word every time I looked it up in my dictionary.  If a word was already highlighted, I would put a little dot after it.  I think leaving "maybe"in my list was my way of keeping myself aware.  The messages I need to learn keep coming back over and over again, but I can use a little help deciphering them sometimes.

Last night's realization was not about maybe.  It was about yes.  If the question is, keep or chuck? the answer is always chuck.

Keep means old and chuck means new.  Chuck doesn't just mean getting rid of something, and whenever I keep something, I need to chuck any negative energy associated with it.  Every kept item needs a renewed purpose, or it may as well be chucked.  So the answer is always chuck.  Even if, yes, I'm keeping this, I need to decide what energy to chuck with it, or what new energy I'm inviting.

On New Year's Eve I had dinner with a college friend, who referred to me as an "old-and-always-new friend."  That struck me as perfect, so soon after my realization that the answer is always chuck.  Here I've been thinking about resolutions and goals and all that good stuff, trying to chuck bad habits and start good routines, trying to decide what to keep or chuck about myself.

The answer is always chuck.  Not "chuck it in the trash," but chuck the moment from a moment ago.  Keep this moment, but only for as long as it lasts.  Even if you keep it, you chuck it, because it is old AND always new.

The Sum of Small Efforts

“Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.”
~ R. Colier ~

This was the basis of my starting Keep or Chuck (the project and the blog).  I mean, no, I just found the quote today (I love success quotes), but that's the idea.  Thinking that I would display those small efforts to the world (or those who find me) day in and day out was, well, unrealistic.  Overambitious.  But I like having something to aim for.

Awhile back, a made a trip to Goodwill and dropped off a few things.  There are layers of small successes here.

• Got rid of some stuff I knew had to be chucked.
• Identified a couple of items for the garbage (yes, garbage).
• Let go of some things I was trying to sell on Amazon (money worry is clutter, too).
• I get to fling things on my to-do list, too.

I use Workflowy for a to-do list.  It works the way my cluttered brain does, so I can search my various lists and find out what my ideas were. 

I left this post idle for a month or two.

It's the last day of 2012.  I am at my dining room table, surveying the cluttered mess that is my house.  The Christmas decorations look manageable; I know the will go into the green and red containers.  I can see the piano, well enough that I could just move a few things and be able to play it.  But I feel a heaviness, knowing that I've had 2 days while my family is away, and I haven't transformed this place.  I have been making "small efforts" but I didn't even pick one area to make a noticeable difference in.  They will be home tomorrow.  I want them to see a difference, but I need to want this for myself.  I think I do.  Something's not clicking, though.

I'm focusing on failure, which is why I reopened this post and am bringing my attention to success again.  Maybe the emphasis need to be on the SUM rather than on the small efforts.  I'm not happy with the sum, so I feel like I don't have success.  The opposite of success need not be failure, though.  If the repetition of more small efforts could lead to success, than what I have right now is a partial sum.  Partial success.  In math class, I would have partial credit.

I just remembered that I made my own definition of success.  I thought, I should look at that and blog about it.  Then I realized I already had, on my other blog.  I went to look at it and WOW, it was my last post, last August.  Leaving it for so long feels like failure-- but I get partial credit.

I've had a song from the most recent Muppets movie in my head.  The chorus goes, "I've got everything that I need right in front of me."  Just keep adding it up, Em, you'll get a sum eventually.

Sing Unabashedly, Creating a Conscious, Effective Story of Self

Sing 

Unabashedly, 

Creating a 

Conscious, 

Effective 

Story of 

Self

Chuck This!

I filled two recycling bags.
I can see my piano (but not play it yet).
I emptied 4 containers.
I threw away 2 broken flip-flops.
I found potential declutter/cleaning buddies.
I don't feel accomplished.
I'm thanking myself and tucking myself in anyway.

Tomorrow is another chucking day.

Veterans' Day Declutter

I have been lazily listening to my daughter sing all day.  She sang while on the "throne," as I lollygagged in bed.  Anytime she went from here to there, a song accompanied her.  She made up a clever rhyming song to get me out of bed.  I was too sleepy to remember it now.  She sings to the dogs.  She comes with a soundtrack, and I love it.

This afternoon she shared her songs with more people than lucky me.  Her choir went to the VA hospital to sing for the vets.  She has been practicing "Grand Old Flag" for the last three days.  Okay, okay, I've been singing that one with her.

What does this have to do with the decluttering theme?  Music is abundant and moving.  I am surrounded by song, but not always so keenly aware of it.  My awareness of this gift my daughter is offering to those who have served our country is sharpening my sense of gratitude and purposeful action in my own life.  Perhaps it is cliché, but I am trying not to take things for granted.  Especially when an acquaintance in a chat room pointed out how much the veterans would truly appreciate my daughter's choir's visit.

Abundance:  Why do I keep so much clutter in my life?  I am surrounded by stuff, stuff I don't need.  What would it be like to be surrounded by song and little else?  If I cleared space for it, would the song fill the space?  Would I be filled with music and feel less like I need all this stuff?

Movement:  We say that certain songs are moving, or stirring.  The word "emotion" contains motion.  I have known for many years that cranking some tunes can help me get some cleaning done (you know, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, and all that).  How do I forget?  How do I go so long without choosing some uplifting music?  Without singing my own song?  Playing the movie of my life without a soundtrack?  Could it be that the clutter, which I cling to with a scarcity mentality, actually sucks the song out of the atmosphere?  The tones are trapped under piles.  The music can't move amongst the matter.

Today, I have started to move with the appreciation of her song.  I have thrown a few things away, repurposed others, felt myself move forward.  I am a little overwhelmed by everything I'm trying to get done today, but just getting rid of a few things has made me feel accomplished and cheerful.  And I have songs going through my head. 

My messy house is a prison of my own making.  I am so lucky to live in a country that values and protects freedom, yet I frequently let my things and my subconscious make decisions for me.  Maybe some other time I can come up with a better way to honor the troops and my country, but just for today, singing my own little battle hymn to move my decluttering troops in the freedom of my own home, I am grateful, and hopeful, and marching on.